On Mommy Blogs

I have to say I am the least maternal person you may ever meet. Someone once handed me a child and I just held it there at arms length hanging from its armpits. It looked at me, and I at it and we mutually agreed that neither of us was enjoying ourselves. I think they’re unnecessarily loud and that they smell, I know that anything under 7 years old feels this way about me too. I have no problem with this.

The reasons I read most blogs are exceedingly simple; I am a web designer – I read web design blogs or I am a mac user – I read mac blogs. Im sure most folk function this way. However, a few months ago while trying to tame my RSS feeds I stumbled onto a surprising trend in my reading habits; I read a lot of blogs by women with children. Being the self confessed non maternal child hater I am, this intrigued me.

So I asked – “Self, whats going on?” and the brain committee huddled and came back with some possible answers;

  • Some suppressed urge in my subconscious to breed?
  • Embers of maternal instinct beginning to glow?
  • Recent alien abduction?

I pondered on this for a week or so then was confronted by a child in a store, a little girl. I think to most people she was cute, skipping up and down the aisles singing. Her fair hair was in pig tails and curled into little ringlets.

Actually in all honesty I had completely ignored her to better focus on which brand of moisturiser I was going to inflict on my face, until she face-planted right in front of me. I didn’t see the start of the fall but I saw the end, her tiny hand trying to keep her face from being smooshed by the carpet. I can still see it in slow motion. She had started crying before the rest of her had hit the ground.

And yes, I was shocked and concerned as I would be by any living thing in pain. But I just awkwardly stood there and stared at this poor kid, my mouth slightly agape with a really dopey look on my face, there was no urge what so ever to go hug, assist or even enquire.

Eventually mum was alerted to its offspring’s plight by the sobbing. And the noise was over soon after that. But before it was all over my brain had managed to cross reference this event with something it had been working on earlier. If I had a heads up display it would have appeared like this.

[Low to absent maternal instinct – CONFIRMED]

And then I was back on the question.

I looked to my RSS feeds and saw another trend; I read very few blogs written by my own demographic (female, unmarried, no children, 18 – 25). The ones I do read I find mildly unsatisfying compared with the ‘mommy blogs’.

Unsatisfying? They seem just a little bit vacuous, I didn’t care quite as much, “the characters weren’t resonating with me”.

Then, after reading Dooce’s post about being molested by television and being referred to as a “Mommy Blogger”. I was inspired. One line got me good;

“Because even though some people use that label to belittle the fact that there are women out there writing about their experiences as mothers…”

And she’s right, whoever came up with that label wasn’t talking nice. They were all “not real bloggers – mommy bloggers” then they slapped their high horse on the bum to gallop away into the sunset.

And I got it. The cowboy had it wrong, Mommy Blogs are up there with the best kind (the ad revenue alone proves that).

Having a child had richened their point of view making them much more interesting writers, it wasn’t just about them any more, or just about their children. I like the way the mothers openly and frankly share their troubles and issues and how even if you don’t have a kid there are basics there anyone can relate to. I like it that they admit that having children isn’t at all like pooping rainbows that society does tell lies for procreation. I like the networks they make to help each other. Their lives have so much more meaning than the 23 year old web designer that writes about having problems dressing herself in the morning (taking about self here). It’s just a better read.

I do have to say that the blogs I read don’t always exclusively talk about their children and I don’t personally consider them strictly ‘Mommy Blogs’, to me they’re just about lives. Lives sharing and reaching out.

Stop wasting your time here and go read some;

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