Archive for January, 2006

The chore of being a decently presented human being.

This morning, getting ready for work was less about preening myself to my natural perfection and more about picking the shirt that smelt the least offensive. Life is like that at the minute, being sick has halted my already unstable washing cycle at home. The clothes are all over the floor like teenagers drunk on cheap cask wine.

However please don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy being clean, freshly washed and ironed for work, or anytime really. And I am at my happiest when everything is in its place, neat little rows, folded, whatever. (Very characteristic of my star-sign apparently)

But actually DOING all this folding and ironing, well that is another matter entirely. I’ll rescue one top from the floor, maybe even two then get distracted by anything. ANYTHING, because its so much better than all this folding, cleaning and ironing.

In fact the only time where this statement is not true is when there are assignments due. I will clean the entire house just to get out of doing an assignment. (Which won’t be a problem any more thanks to all of this “graduation” business).

Once I even got distracted from cleaning by cleaning.
?Neither rooms were ever actually fully cleaned however.

So this morning while sniffing my clothes in a hurry because I leave myself about 9 minutes to get ready (sleep is much more important than clothing and breakfast), I ponder a solution to my problem. Is there a way I can fix this for myself, or better yet, mankind?

All the obvious things came to mind, a robotic cleaner, a human cleaner, cleaning up after myself and ignoring my obvious allergies to the process of actually cleaning, not moving more than two centimeters in an hour as to avoid any sweat or stink of even being created, convincing everyone that being grubby and unkempt is okay as long as you’ve got a great personality…

My favorite idea was designing clothes that put themselves in the washing machine and back in the cupboard because i’d love to see my jeans waling around by themselves, perhaps they could be my friends? Or my unholy army of the night? One of those would be great.

Either way, I couldn’t think of an actual plausible idea, (and it’d been 10 minutes) and I resigned myself to a smelly shirt and layered myself in “MOONGRASS” deoderant (Moongrass? There is no grass on the moon! But it sure smells nice…).

On another slightly related note. My shirts from Threadless arrived today (see here and here). Which gives me another TWO WHOLE DAYS to get my washing up to speed. SkinnyCorp (Honchos of Threadless) must be the coolest place on earth to work (appart from perhaps Google & Pixar).