Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category

Notes on Amsterdam

After 2 hours;

  • I spent 1 hour and 22 minutes in passport control.
  • The rest of my time in Amsterdam was spent walking very briskly from gate E22 to C7 (they’re no where near each other)
  • Schiphol airport is to Airports as Aldi is to supermarkets; Disorganised, oddly lit and full of queues.

Notes on Singapore

After 14 hours;From the Singapore river

  • Singapore is a bit like Sydney crossed with disney land. I have photos to prove it. Everything is extreamly clean and everywhere I go I see cleaners.
  • The toilets flush themselves for you, Which completly bent my brain out of shape at 6:45AM when I arrived.
  • The food tastes like the cities look, sweet and gentle.My dinner in Singapore
  • The Melbourne winter uniform is innappropriate to wear – 10degrees in Melbourne = 38degrees in Singapore. I melted even after shedding layers.
  • Terminal 3 is the place to be. Lounge after lounge stocked with comfy couches and wacky fast food shops and cavernous bathrooms with dressing tables and individual sinks.

I want it now

a list of things that should be invented;

  • A device that removes hair telepathically, so all I have to do is think that I need to shave the legs and it’ll all go away; like waking from some horrible nightmare.
  • A bra that adjusts itself so I don’t have to bare myself to strangers or awkwardly ask my James to do it. What do boyfriend’s know about bras anyway? And while I’m on the topic of auto-clothes, pants that don’t need belts would be awesome.
  • A dog whistle – for cats. Im sick of my cat having an over exaggerated sense of free will, sometimes I want love, LOVE! And when I say love, I don’t mean the “you provide food – gimmie” kind of love.
  • A levitation device that holds the book in front of my face, so my arms don’t get all cold and tired outside the covers when Im reading in bed. This levitation device could also be used to put me to bed properly when I’m drunk and bring me breakfast the morning after.

A little thing

It’s a beautiful Sunday in Melbourne, it’s cold and raining, my cat has placed herself squarely over one of our heater vent and much to everyone else’s dismay, Im still in my pajamas.

When asked why this was, I simply replied; “Its Sunday”.

Upon saying this a planet must of aligned somewhere in the universe because my brother turned to me and in a rare show of sibling support, agreed “She’s got a point.” My father however was not amused (did anyone see the Dr Who with Queen Victoria in it?)…

It’s taken me a while but I think I’ve arrived a a very special, very simple way of thinking; That something good doesn’t need a song and dance, doesn’t begin with someone releasing a hundred doves into the sky and doesn’t end with a crescendo. Good things are small little moments that are often passed by in the search for such fanfare.

Staying in my Pajamas till 5 o’clock in the afternoon (or evening) on a Sunday is one such thing. It’s not something that I do every Sunday, or even every second Sunday. But there are days like today where the whole world just wants you to stop and curl up in front of the teevee with your pajamas and doona.

There is a simple method for determining if in fact today is that day.

  1. Did your pet dog/cat/child completely melt your heart with its cuteness when you got out of bed?
    My charming cat this morning caught me coming back from the bathroom and decided she would spend the rest of the morning being cute beside me while I browsed the internetweb in bed.
  2. Did your mum/dad/flatmate/sweetheart make you your favorite thing for breakfast?
    Mine did. I didn’t even need to ask.
  3. Did your usually abrasive brother/sister/flatmate/cat become human long enough to allow you to spend an hour or so with your favorite computer game on their computer?
    Mine did. But I think he owed me.
  4. Did you realise you had recorded versions of a favorite teevee show waiting for you to snuggle up on the couch with a doona and watch?
    I sure did.

Yes, today has been a very special day in which all of the required factors were just right. The weird thing is that I think it came at the exact right moment, any sooner and I wouldn’t have appreciated it, any later and I may have exploded and painted some poor persons room with my guts.

I guess that that would be number five.

  1. Do you need it so bad you may pop?

I was going to make some sweeping generalised statement about the whole world being a better place if everyone smelled the daisies, but it wouldn’t be, and some places don’t have daisies. However MY world is a better place, thats enough right now.